Ashens

Background

Ashens is a YouTube channel run by British comedian, product reviewer and self-described "failed psychologist" Stuart Ashen, where he mainly reviews various products (or "tat" as he calls them), usually food, video games and items bought from variety stores.

1st Logo (June 5, 2008-)

Original
Redone (2009-2019)
Redone (2019-)

Visuals: On a grey background, there is a stylised rendition of Stuart Ashen on the left and the text "ASHENS.COM" on the right in the Atari font. The text flashes red three times, after which googly eyes are placed on Stuart.

Variants:

Starting from "Quickshot Supervision Review" in 2009, the intro has been redone in HD, and the red illumination now goes around the text.
From 2019 onwards, the ".COM" is removed and Stuart's illustration is zoomed in.
On "Dingoo A320 Review", Stuart headbangs and fire is seen at the bottom half. The video also inverts halfway through.
On the Poundland Specials, his eyes are replaced with £1 coins and the text "POUNDLAND SPECIAL" appears on the bottom right.
On food reviews, he vomits out a green line and the text "FOOD STUFF" appears on the bottom right.
On reviews of food from Poundland, he vomits out a green line while his eyes are replaced with £1 coins, all while "POUNDLAND SPECIAL" is on the bottom right.
On Christmas specials, there is a snow effect, Stuart is wearing a Santa hat, his eyes are replaced with baubles and it says "XMAS THING" on the bottom right.
On Halloween specials, he wears a vampire outfit with fangs and red eyes. The text on the bottom right says "HALLOWEEN THING".
On blind bag reviews, his face is covered in a paper bag with "BLIND BAGS" on the bottom right.
On Loot Crate reviews, he looks at a box saying "LÜT CRAET".
On POP Station Watch, he has a different pose on the center of the screen with the text "POP STATION WATCH" above him. A POP Station circles around him, and his eyes circle accordingly.

Technique: 2D computer animation.

Audio: A 6-note synthesized tune which ends with Stuart saying "Hello!"

Audio Trivia: The music is generated with Dunc's Algomusic MkIIIb, which can be heard with the seed "Doctor Ashen" (case sensitive, no quotation marks).

Audio Variants:

On "Dingoo A320 Review", a heavy metal song plays after the 6-note tune.
On the Poundland Specials, he says "Cheapo!"
On the food specials, there is a vomiting sound effect.
On the Christmas specials, the music is a rearrangement with bells and he says "Hello-ho-ho!"
The Halloween specials have several different sound effects (with the exception of the first):
- 2011: A scare chord.
- 2012: A short scream.
- 2013: A prolonged scream that is cut short.
- 2014-2017: A higher pitched scare chord.
- 2018: Ominous synthesized droning.
- 2019-: Stuart saying "Jumpscare".
On blind bag reviews, he says "I can see perfectly!"
On Loot Crate reviews, he says "Bloody hell, are we still doing these?"; in the final Loot Crate review, he instead says, "Well, looks like we won't be doing these anymore".
On POP Station Watch, the first video used the theme from Crimewatch; afterwards, it used a police siren noise until 2015, when it was replaced with a dramatic orchestral fanfare; another orchestral fanfare was used in a 2020 POP Station Watch episode.

Availability: Seen on almost every Ashens video from "Guitar Fever Review" onwards.

2nd Logo (January 20, 2015-May 19, 2017)

Visuals: On a purple space background, a lime grid zooms out and then lays vertically. The illustration of Stuart flies in and the text "ASHENS.COM" in the Blade Runner font is generated below him with a beam of light.

Technique: CGI with VHS effects on top.

Audio: A lo-fi synthesised tune with an interpolation of the Ashens theme in it.

Audio Variants: On "The Infaceables - Eighties Action Figures", the song is replaced with "Secrets From The Night" by United Sonic Alliance.

Availability: Seen on a few Ashens videos reviewing products from the 1980s from 2015 to 2017, such as "80's Incredible Hulk Pop Up Book".