RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video/Anti-Piracy Advices

1st Bumper (Early 1983)
Nickname: "If It Isn't Red, It Isn't Real"

Bumper: On a white background is a red open big box with an RCA/Columbia tape cassette inside, mainly showing the red spine with the words "RCA/COLUMBIA PICTURES INTERNATIONAL VIDEO" surrounded by two duplicates of the company's logo. On the bottom is the red text:

If it isn't red, it isn't real.

As the voiceover gets to the hotline number part, "01-636 8373" appears underneath the text.

FX/SFX: Just the hotline number appearing.

Music/Sounds: A British announcer says "You should have noticed a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo on the cassette you're now watching. If you didn't, have a quick look now before the film starts. You see, this unique packaging is our guarantee of quality. It means you'll see a top quality film on top quality tape, and it means this copy will have been taken straight up a master tape. So whatever film you watch, the picture you see will be sharp, and the sound you hear will always be clear. If this video cassette hasn't got a red leading edge, we'd like to hear about it. So call us on 01-636 8373 right now. Because if it isn't red, it isn't real."

Availability: Extremely rare, seen on some pre-cert RCA/Columbia releases from the era such as their releases of Fraggle Rock.

2nd Bumper (Early 1983-1985)
Nickname: "If It Isn't Red, It Isn't Real II"

Bumper: On a white background, a VHS cassette appears sitting with a Beta cassette, both of them sporting red spines. Thirty-two seconds later, this cuts to a still shot showing the front of the VHS cassette, which sports an RCA/Columbia tape label (The Dark Crystal) and a white RCA/Columbia logo that was printed on the left reel side, then it cuts to the VHS's red spine facing us (actually the same one from the previous bumper), and finally a camera zoom-in on the white logo. Afterwards, it cuts to the front of the Beta cassette, sporting another RCA/Columbia label (Death Wish II) and a red trapezoid-shaped sticker on the reel shield that only has the logo's RCA and Columbia Pictures parts, omitting the Torch Lady. This cuts to the Beta's red spine facing us (also the same one), and finally another camera zoom-in on the red trapezoid sticker. Then finally, it cuts back to the VHS cassette and the Beta cassette sitting together, with the text "If it isn't red, it isn't real" shown underneath them, now in a single line and in a different font. As the voiceover gets to the hotline number part, "01-636 8373" fades in underneath the text.

FX/SFX: The camera zoom-ins, and the hotline number appearing.

Music/Sounds: The same announcer from the previous bumper says "You should have noticed a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo on the cassette you're now watching. If you didn't, have a quick look now before the film starts. You see, this unique packaging is our guarantee of quality. It means you'll see a top quality film on top quality tape, and it means this copy will have been taken straight off a master tape. So whatever film you watch, the picture you see will be sharp, and the sound you hear will always be clear. If your cassette is VHS format, it should look like this, with a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo, and the logo also engraved on the cassette window. If your cassette is Beta format, it should look like this, with a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo, and the logo printed in red on the wheel spring visible through the window. If this video cassette is not like this, then we'd like to hear about it. So call us on 01-636 8373 right now. Because if it isn't red, it isn't real."

Availability: Even rarer than the previous bumper, serving as its alternative. Seen on Conan the Destroyer and Jabberwocky.

3rd Bumper (1985-1990)
Bumper: On a white background, we see both a Beta and VHS cassette sporting an RCA/Columbia label and the same red spine from the previous bumper sitting beside each other. It cuts to the front of the VHS cassette with a camera zoom-in on a white RCA/Columbia logo that was printed on the left reel side, which then cuts to the front of the Beta cassette with a camera zoom-in on a red trapezoid-shaped sticker on the reel shield that only has the logo's RCA and Columbia Pictures parts, omitting the Torch Lady. Then it goes back to the same still of the two cassettes sitting together. As we get to the contact part of the voiceover, we fade to the RCA/Columbia Pictures International Video logo itself on a white background with the hotline number "01-636 8373" fading in below.

Variants:
 * From 1988 to 1989, the white background is changed to the still picture of the 1985 Spinning Cube on a blue background and the text is white and typed in.
 * In the later years with the 1985 Spinning Cube logo (1989 to 1990), the Beta front zoom-in and the repeat of the first shot were cut out, and the standard RCA/Columbia logo on the white background was replaced by the ending freeze frame of the Spinning Cube with "01-636 8373" in white appearing via a wipe effect.

FX/SFX: The camera zoom-ins, and the hotline number appearing.

Music/Sounds: An announcer with a heavy Irish (or British) accent says "The red spine on the cassette you are now watching is your assurance of first class audio and video presentation, guaranteed by RCA/Columbia Pictures Video. If your cassette does not look like this, if it's a VHS format - or a Beta format like this - it is likely to be a pirate copy, and you won't be getting your money's worth in either picture quality or sound. In that case, phone RCA/Columbia Pictures on: 01-636 8373. We'd like to hear from you."

Music/Sounds Variants: In the 1988 version, the part at the end of the voiceover with the man whispering "We'd like to hear from you" was cut out.In the 1989 version, the voiceover was shortened to "The red spine on the cassette you are now watching is your assurance of first class audio and video presentation, guaranteed by RCA/Columbia Pictures Video. If your cassette does not look like this, phone RCA/Columbia Pictures on: 01-636 8373."

Availability: Rare, seen on some old RCA/Columbia Beta and VHS rental releases. Examples include Macbeth, Mr. North, Eat the Peach, R.O.T.O.R., Daddy's Boys, and Hope and Glory. Later tapes used F.A.C.T. along with the 7th standard bumper instead.

Editor's None: None.

1st Bumper (1980s)
Bumper: In a white area, we see a VHS with a red spine on it, rotating. Later, it stops. Then we see a stack of these VHS tapes and on the top we see the front and we zoom to the plastic mark on the reel. The screen moves to the right to reveal another stack of VHS tapes in front of the other, but with a Beta cassette on top. The screen pivots to the left to a closeup of the hologram. The screen flips to the same AFaVSO screen above.

FX/SFX: Live action.

Music/Sounds: A quiet man says "RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts has introduced an innovative concept to ensure that you receive full value each time you hire a video program. All VHS video cassettes carry a red spine; this is your guarantee of first class audio video presentation. If your VHS cassette does not look like this, then it's likely you're viewing an inferior pirated copy. Your Beta cassette does not carry a red spine, but a similar protection of your investment is guaranteed by the exclusive polarized seal, as shown here. If this is not the case, you're not getting your money's worth in picture, quality, and sound."

Availability: Extremely rare. Seen on early Australian RCA/Columbia VHS tapes that have a red spine on it. Later releases don't have this bumper and have a gray casing added.

2nd Bumper (1990-1991)
Bumper: We start with a still of the 1985 RCA/Columbia/Hoyts cube logo, then on a black background, we see a gray VHS with a red spine, a pinkish tape label on the case, and an RCA/Columbia/Hoyts logo sticker on the left reel side. We start with the front, then it fades to the spine (to show the RCA/Columbia/Hoyts logo next to the words "RCA/COLUMBIA PICTURES/HOYTS VIDEO"), and a diagonal version of the first shot, then it splits into 9 screens, all but the top right corner having the same shot. The top right corner has a shot of the front and spine. (Alternatively, this would fade to the same still with the same angle as the last square of the tile.) Then on a white background, we see a Beta cassette that uses the same pinkish tape label as the VHS, and a different, rounded hologram seal on the reel. This fades to the reel where we can see the hologram on it for clarification, and the hologram is shown to be violet with the alternative version of the RCA/Columbia Pictures International Video logo in white. Afterward, we see both of them on a black background. Finally, on a blue/black gradient background, we see the RCA/Columbia/Hoyts print logo move to the top of the screen, and the phone number for the Australasian Film and Video Security Office fades in below.

FX/SFX: The fading, the zooming.

Music/Sounds:
 * A deep-voiced male announcer says "RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Video has developed the special gray casing and red spine for all VHS cassettes, as your guarantee of first class audio and video presentation. Beta cassettes do not feature the gray case, but the exclusive polarized seal, as shown here, is a similar protection of your investment. If your cassettes do not have these safeguards of quality, it is likely you're viewing an inferior pirated copy. If you suspect your imposition of a pirated video cassette, please phone the Australasian Film and Video Security Office, on the toll free number: Double 08 251-double 96."
 * A different announcer says "RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts, in an effort to ensure that YOU receive full value each time you hire a video program, has introduced this special gray casing, and red spine, for all VHS video cassettes. This is your guarantee of first class audio video presentation. If your VHS cassette does not look like this, then it's likely you're viewing an inferior pirated copy. Your Beta cassette does not feature the gray case, but a similar protection of your investment is guaranteed by the exclusive polarized seal, as shown here. If this is not the case, you're not getting your money's worth in picture, quality, and sound."

Availability: Rare. Seen on Australian RCA/Columbia VHS tapes from 1990-1991 that have the gray casing and red spine on it. Early releases with only a red spine on the tape use the previous bumper instead.