Chuck Lorre Productions

Background
This is the vanity card of Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, founded in the 1990s, but incorporated on January 10, 2000 in Los Angeles, California.

1st Logo (January 2-December 17, 1995)
Logo: We see an Apple Macintosh SE (specifically the less-common dual disk model) on a desk with lots of office supplies surrounding it, including a keyboard, mouse, pencils and a floppy disk, as well as a drink. "Chuck Lorre Productions" in white Peignot font (the font used on the Viacom "Pinball", as well as the title card of The Mary Tyler Moore Show and the first logo of The Jerry Springer Show), is written on the monitor against a dark blue background.

Variants:
 * The Macintosh SE (1987) is replaced with a later Compact Macintosh, either a Macintosh Classic (1990) or Classic II (1992), but it cannot be determined exactly which because both use the same case, and the name was removed from the computer in the logo.
 * The font is changed from Peignot to a standard sans-serif font (i.e. Arial). This version also has a decanter on the desk.

FX/SFX: None.

Music/Sounds: The closing theme of Cybill or a CBS generic theme on original airings.

Availability: Originally seen on season 1 and early season 2 episodes of Cybill when originally aired on CBS.

Editor's Note: Not as well known as the card below (see the 3rd logo).

2nd Logo (March 13, 1995)
Logo: We see a photograph of a man holding a bag of cheese puffs and waving his hand. The text "Chuck Lorre Productions" is seen at the bottom.

FX/SFX: The film scratches moving.

Music/Sounds: The closing theme of Cybill.

Availability: Rare. Seen only on the Cybill episode "The Replacements".

Editor's Note: None.

3rd Logo (September 24, 1997-)
Nickname: "The Essays"

Logo: On a white background, we see "CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS" at the top of the screen in a black typewriter font, with a number next to it that groups how many of the logos there have been. Below it is a short, humorous (and often cynical and at times, political) essay in a very small font which must be paused to read it.

Trivia:
 * The logo was briefly retired due to the media taking the essays too seriously during the Charlie Sheen controversy that went on season 8 of Two and a Half Men.
 * There are currently more than 700 different essays.
 * This logo was parodied in MAD magazine when it spoofed The Big Bang Theory.
 * A special coffee-table book was printed in 2012 called What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Bitter, which features artsy arrangements of hundreds of Chuck's essays.
 * This logo has been used as vanity cards with tags of numbers since September 1997.

Variants:
 * When this logo first appeared, it featured a black background with white text. Starting on September 28, 1999, it was later inverted so it could be easier to read, especially after VHS got retired.
 * On some episodes of Two and a Half Men, photos replace the normal text.
 * On one episode of Two and a Half Men, "Chuck Lorre" is replaced with the symbol for the musician Prince.
 * On the Dharma & Greg episode, "Yes, We Have No Bananas (or Anything Else for That Matter)", the name "Chuck Lorre" is replaced with a bunch of symbols.
 * On the Dharma & Greg episode "Dharma and the Horse She Rode In On", it has a sketch of a man laying with some birds fly above him at the middle of the essay.
 * On the Two and a Half Men episode "Thank You for the Intercourse", the company name is replaced with "FOOD, PETTING AND PLAYING PRODUCTIONS".
 * On the Two and a Half Men episode, "That Voodoo That I Do Do", the white background is replaced with a picture of producer Mark Roberts, who was auditioned at a kids' theatre in 1969.
 * On the Two and a Half Men episode "The Pot-Smoking Monkey", there's a card featuring an ovular photo of Chuck Lorre with Brian Lowry and Andy Wallenstein. The company name appears in lowercase with the card number both in WordArt style instead of the uppercase style with the 20th century script font, while the essay is in a white box.
 * In some cases, a card numbered "111" is used when he has "nothing to write about". It has only been seen on two occasions.
 * On the season 2 episode of Two and a Half Men, "Does This Smell Funny to You?", the text is replaced with the words "Gone fishin'", and the background is a picture of Chuck Lorre underwater in a scuba suit giving the "OK" signal to the camera. The vanity card number for this one is #138.
 * On the Young Sheldon episode, "A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship", the essay is in a different font.
 * On December 13, 2012, the essay is replaced with a picture of Chuck Lorre dressed as a ballet dancer along with the other dancers, while the text reads "Happy Holidays".
 * On the season 7 episode of Two and a Half Men, "Warning, It's Dirty", "CHUCK LORRE" is replaced with another logo called "A Marty Pepper Production" in an old-school Broadway background with a funny voice saying "It's a Pepper!", followed by a cuckoo sound. However, a different version of this variant with the company name and a number can be seen at Lorre's website.
 * On the Big Bang Theory episode "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation", the essay is replaced with an image of people at Comic-Con, who say thanks to a convention.
 * Special "Censored" cards have been used when the networks reject a certain essay.
 * On the Big Bang Theory episode "The Pants Alternative", as well as the Two and a Half Men episode "Ixnay on the Oggie Day", a "sideways smiley face" is seen at the top of the essay, which reads out like a memorial epitaph to it.
 * On the Big Bang Theory episode "The Colonization Application", the essay is replaced with a memorial card to Leonard Nimoy, who died that week. It's a picture of Nimoy with the text "The impact you had on our show and our lives is everlasting."
 * Essay #513 (seen on The Big Bang Theory episode "The Opening Night Excitation") has the company name is replaced with the text "HOLIDAY GREETINGS FROM CHUCK LORRE".
 * On the Big Bang Theory episode "The Table Polarization", the essay is replaced with an image of Chuck Lorre dressed as Santa in Holiday 2014.
 * Essay #570 (seen on the Mom episode "Fish Town and Too Many Thank You's", The Big Bang Theory episode "The Geology Methodology" and the Young Sheldon episode "Poker, Faith, and Eggs") features an Apple Animoji pig who says "Believe me!".
 * On Unraveling the Mystery: A Big Bang Farewell, the essay is replaced with the cast from The Big Bang Theory, who are sit down to say goodbye to the show.
 * On the Big Bang Theory episode "The Ornithophobia Diffusion", the essay is replaced with an image of the 1st logo and what Chuck Lorre remembers his first vanity card when he was working on Grace Under Fire and Cybill.

FX/SFX: None.

Music/Sounds: A brief sound clip of a heavenly choir singing, none, or the closing theme of the series. ABC and CBS airings used their generic themes.

Music/Sounds Variants:
 * On the Two and a Half Men episode "Of Course He's Dead", the choir is rearranged.
 * On the Big Bang Theory episode "The Bon Voyage Reaction", Rajesh Koothrappali (played by Kunal Nayyar) is still talking about Lucy throughout the show's closing theme before his jabbering (including he says "So, you know a silver lining...") is cut off by the 2003 Warner Bros. Television logo's music.

Availability: Common. Seen on shows such as Dharma & Greg, Two and a Half Men, Mike & Molly, The Big Bang Theory, Mom, Young Sheldon, The Kominsky Method, B Positive, and Bob Hearts Abishola.

Editor's Note: Overall, thanks to its unique concept and funny essays, it's a very popular logo and is well-liked by many.

Archives: There is a complete collection (which is updated every time a new episode airs) of the vanity cards at Chuck Lorre's website.

4th Logo (August 25, 2017-January 12, 2018)


Logo: On a black background, we see a white shield also resembling that of a coat-of-arms. Surrounding it is some Lorem Ipsum-like text (which has four words that read "HUMILITAS FICTA", "UN-FOCUSED RAGE", "NEUROTIC ANXIETY" and "SELF-OBSESSION") with a crown and the stacked words "Chuck Lorre Productions" in a medieval font inside.

Trivia: There are two parts of the shield that represent Chuck Lorre's two long-running CBS sitcoms: an atom represents The Big Bang Theory, and a symbol of two men and a kid represents Two and a Half Men.

FX/SFX: None.

Music/Sounds: The end theme of the show or none.

Availability: Seen only on Disjointed.

Editor's Note: None.